Wales and Northern Ireland are making plans to nip out on Thursday night and not come back.
With the shouting match between Scotland and London likely to reach a crescendo as Scots go to the polls on Thursday, other parts of the UK are planning to get away from it all. Forever.
Northern Ireland said, “And I thought I was the argumentative one. Jeez, these last few weeks have given me a proper headache. I’m packing my bags and leaving. We’re going to tell Scotland and London that we’re popping out to the shop for some milk, but the reality is the car is packed and we’ll be on the ferry to France before they start wondering where we are”
Wales said they are still trying to work out how they can whisk Cornwall and the North of England away without London noticing.