What I am about to tell you is true.
It happened to me.
It could happen to you.
I had recently been promoted. I was pleased about this as it would mean an increase in salary; something which would be very welcome as following my divorce a few years ago, money was a bit tight, particularly since Matthew, my ex, paid no child support for our son even though he was well able to.
Why did I get divorced? Because of the mental abuse and his affairs.
It wasn’t what you’d call an amicable divorce. Far from it.
I don’t think Matthew could quite believe it when I filed for divorce, he’d got so used to using me as his verbal punch bag and scapegoat, it came as quite a shock to him when he could no longer do that face to face. So, he did the next best thing, abusive phone calls and texts to tell me how he was going to ruin my life and make me suffer.
I never involved the police. It was all quite low level, nothing I couldn’t cope with and I made sure I gave as good as I got.
My refusal to crumble in response to Matthews threats obviously enraged him which culminated in him making up a cock and bull story to the police about me abusing our son.
The police did come to see me and had a chat with me and my ten year old son Josh.
I told them about the divorce, the texts, ‘phone calls and threats.
They were satisfied that there was no abuse.
We’ll give him some “words of advice” they said.
After that things settled down a little.
I of course was unaware that Matthew was furious that the police had given him a slap on the wrist.
Over the ensuing months his resentment simmered whilst he plotted his revenge on me…
My boss told me that the new role would involve some travel and overnight stays.
Would this be a problem he had asked me.
Two years after my divorce I had met Tom at a mutual friends wedding party.
He too was recently divorced.
We took things slowly; I introduced him to Rhys after we’d been dating for three months. They got on well.
After Tom and I had been dating for a year, he asked me to move in with him.
“you could rent your house out” he’d said
I thought long and hard about it and decided I would move in with Tom and rent my house out as he’d suggested.
I still wasn’t receiving any child support from Matthew, although the Child Support agency kept telling me they were going to take enforcement action against him to recover the maintainence he owed, they were, quite frankly next to useless.
I told Tom what my boss had said.
“ well, I think you should ask Rhys’ father to look after him when you’re away”
“look, it’s not that I mind looking after Rhys, I just think you should put it to Matthew first”
I sent Matthew a brief text;
“ will have 2 stay overnight for 1 – 2 nights with work business every 3 – 4 weeks. Can you look after Josh pls ?”
His response was as expected:
“you’re having a fucking laugh. I’m not your babysitter”
I showed Tom the text.
“I’ll do it” he said hugging me. ”just have a chat with Rhys, make sure he’s happy about it”